Once again, a long absence means that Krista probably got caught up with what she wanted than in spending time with her Savior, being stubbornly independent.

Sidenote: check out this song. Beautiful Ending

I’m going through Nehemiah currently. His name means “Jehovah Comforts.” 

One thing that I think is super cool is that he was a cupbearer. So many times I think that I don’t know much of anything about the Word or that God can’t use an almost senior in college to make a difference in the world. But man, he was a cupbearer! He was neither a prophet nor a priest. A cupbearer was the escort of the King at meals. The King owed him his life because the cupbearer tested all the king’s drinks for poisons (putting his own life at risk.) 

So, when Nehemiah approached the king about going back and rebuilding the wall, he had an unseen advantage, even though it took an insane amount of courage to submit his request. The King asked him why he looked so sad, which was a dangerous emotion to express in the king’s presence. It was part of the cupbearer’s duty to be positive and encouraging because it reflected the well-being from the administration. Chapter 2 verse 4 says that Nehemiah prayed to the God of heaven. Aka, this shows his continual prayer life-that he goes to God in everything. (Fun fact: The king’s stepmom was Esther.) So the king approves and Nehemiah leaves to rebuild the wall.

And we skip to chapter six.

Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.

As I was reading this chapter, that quote from Babe Ruth came to mind. It seems as if Nehemiah is fearless.

And this is where God rocked my world this morning. Y’all, my biggest fear is failure. I worry so much about pleasing others and fitting in that it keeps me from doing so many things. Example: we have a high ropes course at camp that we must go through during staff training. I hate it. Not because I’m scared of heights but that I won’t dominate it. Sounds pretty stupid doesn’t it? Also, I’m not a very vulnerable person, at all. I honestly can’t think of anyone who truly knows me, besides God, duh. I’m afraid to let people in because I’m scared they will judge me and not see me as I pretend to be.

Check out Nehemiah. All these threats were coming at him from all around, yet he continued to persevere for the work of his Lord. Why is that? I think it is because of his continual prayer life. 

Fear is the opposite of having faith. 

Bottom line, I need to get over my pride and fully rely on my Savior. Trusting in Him and praying continually will allow my faith to take over my fear.


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